


Cheater

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Canon, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-21
Updated: 2003-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-27 09:31:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12078345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Justin has to deal with the choices he made.





	Cheater

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

The young man rose from the bed carefully, trying to make as little noise as possible because he didn't want to disturb the man sleeping next to him. He thought he'd been successful and was just bending to pick up the clothes his lover had anxiously taken off of him just a couple of hours ago, when suddenly a voice coming from the bed startled him.

 

"Don't forget to shower this time. After all, you don't want him to know where you've been." Justin froze as a wave of guilt hit him with brutal force. He was unable to turn around and look at his lover, afraid of what he might see in his eyes. He silently nodded his head and walked towards the bathroom, closing the door behind him in a weak attempt at escape. He knew better, of course. He knew he wouldn't be able to escape himself and his actions, no matter how much he may wished it. 

He didn't know why things had gone so badly. He'd been so happy, so sure of his love...and now he was here, cheating on the man who'd done so many wonderful things for him. He stood under the hot spray of water, letting it clean his body of all evidences of what he'd just done. He wished the water could also cleanse his mind and his heart.

 

He finished and took a towel to dry himself, taking way too much time to do it. He stood for several minutes facing the door, trying to summon enough courage to open it. Finally, taking a deep breath, he flung open the door and stepped out quickly.

 

His lover was still lying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He didn't look at Justin and the boy was grateful for that. He still had the towel around his waist, suddenly shy of his nakedness. As if by covering himself he could somehow hide what had just happened ...again. Justin didn't know if he should laugh or cry at his foolishness.

 

But this was the last time, he swore to himself. He wasn't going to come back here anymore, no matter how much he may want to do it. But he couldn't silence the small voice inside his head that kept saying things he didn't wished to hear.

'Liar'. Said the voice. 'You'll come back here again and again. You're a fucking cheater and you'll always be one.'

"No." Justin didn't realize he'd said that out loud until his lover spoke again.

"You said something?"

"No, I...No. I have to go." He spoke without turning around to face the other man and prayed that he wouldn't get up from the bed, that he wouldn't try to make him stay. 

His prayers were answered. His lover sighed softly but he stayed where he was. When he spoke Justin could hear the sadness in his voice and that made him feel even more disgusted with himself. What was he doing to this man?

"Yeah, I know you have to go."

Justin dressed quickly and almost ran towards the door. But he stopped as he reached it and, taking a deep breath, he turned around very slowly. Brian was standing just outside his bedroom, completely naked, looking sadly at him. 

Justin tried to smile but couldn't quite pull it off. He swallowed hard and managed to speak, his voice barely a whisper.

"Later." He almost bit his tongue as he said the word. He hadn't meant to say it because there couldn't, shouldn't be a 'later' for them anymore. He had Ethan now and he shouldn't be cheating on him.

"Later."

 

Justin gasped as he heard the word coming from Brian's lips. He realized that he'd been half-hoping, half- fearing that he wouldn't say it. Because, once spoken, it would be impossible for him to forget it.

He turned around and opened the door, walking out of Brian's loft for what he said to himself would be the last time. He loved Ethan, he really did and he would prove it to himself by forgetting about Brian. This time he would keep his word. He would. He had to.

But the truth was that he already knew that the voice inside his head was right. He * was * a liar and a cheater and he would keep coming back to this place, to Brian, for as many times as the man would let him.


End file.
